*THE SECRET OF MAKING A GOOD CHOICE*
Good evening brethren. I’ll share with our youths a very pertinent topic that will significantly determine whether you’ll have a wonderful marriage or not.
I hope many of you will humble yourself to consider the discussion.
I’m going to deal with the issue of feelings and an inner knowing/acknowledgement/word.
*I realize why most relationship fumble this days: They fail because they are built on feelings*
Feelings change and are unstable elements to rely upon while deciding a serious issue as marriage.
_Never build your relationship on feelings_
Getting married require you having a sound mind and being in charge of your rein.
I was discussing with a young man recently about who to marry. He said I have no feelings towards a lady.
Possibly the Lady isn’t meant for him.
I told him something that surprised him:
*I told him: “I have no feelings for my wife when I met her.”*
My wife wasn’t the most beautiful lady in my circle.
My wife wasn’t the best dressed.
My wife wasn’t the most righteous.
*While looking for a wife, I wasn’t looking for the best woman. I was looking for my wife. Simple*
What you go for is what you are likely going to get.
If you’re looking for a sophisticated lady, you would most likely get her. But her sophistication may land you in trouble.
Proverbs 17:1 KJV
Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.
Proverbs 25:24 KJV
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
*Marriage is not a competition for the attraction of the rich, educated or famous spouse.*
*It is about getting the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh*
So getting a great spouse is way beyond feelings.
Getting your own spouse should be predominantly determined by what God is saying or has said.
There’s a knowing deep within you when you meet a suitable partner.
I know a great man of God who met his wife at a motor park.
It takes an inner knowledge to have his senses tuned in.
In Genesis 24:
When Abraham need a wife for Isaac, we discovered Abraham didn’t use any physical yardstick than factors that are in congruency with earlier word of God to him… He knew where to marry and where not to marry.
So he sent Eliezar to get a wife for his son *based on intrinsic specification*
Rebekah also, though not having met Isaac followed.
What happened? God had gone ahead to determine the relationship
Rebekah was an answer to already spoken prayer:
Genesis 24:42-46 KJV
And I came this day unto the well, and said, O Lord God of my master Abraham, if now thou do prosper my way which I go: [43] Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water, and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink; [44] And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the Lord hath appointed out for my master’s son. [45] And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew water : and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee. [46] And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her shoulder, and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so I drank, and she made the camels drink also.
Rebekah walked into prophecy.
Looking at the relationship, it wasn’t set on feelings but word spoken ahead in prayer.
In the case of Ruth and Boaz, it wasn’t based on love at first sight.
Ruth could chose a younger male partner but she was prevailed upon by strict marital vow and process.
Boaz a rich man also could look down on Ruth a peasant.
Yet he also submitted to duty and responsibility as the near-kin to Mahlon and Chilion.
Boaz married Ruth based on duty, responsibility, purpose and maturity.
Maturity in choices is far beyond feelings.
I never married based on feelings but based on sound decisions, one of such decisions are:
Being a very responsible and dependable husband
Responsibilities in marriage has nothing to do with feelings.
Marriage built on feelings crack easily because immediately the feeling is gone they begin to have problem.
Remember, the marriage vow is about *doings* not *feelings*
Being nice to my wife has nothing to do with her actions or inactions. It has all to do with my vow and decisions.
Marriage is kept year in year out by decisions and vows.
And this decisions and vows are based on words you received within your heart.
When I met my wife, I saw some unique virtues I desired in a woman.
Then I heard again within me when I was beginning to relax action, go for her or you’ll stay long as a bachelor.
I obeyed the inner promptings and the inner voice…
I felt right about her. We got married and like many marriages we have some challenges but few yet I never had reason to secretly engage other ladies around.
The reason: I had an inner agreement and witness to move into the relationship… Not feelings
Remember, feelings is about physical agreement matching our expectations.
True love is inner agreement matching divine expectations.
When you match divine expectations your marriage is birth in heaven and hordes of hell cannot quench that relationship.
When it’s true love it has nothing to do with height, complexion, wealth, fame, etc.
You just know you love the person, nothing more and nothing less.
*True love is never a bad market*
God will always give you the best suitable for you if only you can wait upon him.
I’m not saying you’ll marry a flawless person, but your spouse will understand you.
I’m not saying you wouldn’t quarrel but after quarreling you’ll always remember where you started from.
The Bible says: you’ll hear a voice saying, this is the way.
A true relationship is built on an indelible deep knowing which determines the attraction in the first place. Without a knowing which should be of God, never start a relationship.
Surely, when you follow God’s voice it will lead to a safe haven.
*What’s God saying about that relationship is it built on the sandy soil of feelings or on the rock of God’s word?*
You cannot help God based on your fickle standard. The heart of man is desperately evil, don’t fall for feelings.
When the feeling is gone that guy or lady may become your nightmare or untameable monster in human clothing
*Please, let God choose for you*
Let us pray: Lord go ahead of me and choose for me. Lord, shatter every wrong choices I’ve made by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Lord help me not cage my destiny by wrong partner.
In Jesus name
