WORLD CHANGERS NETWORK

Category: LOVE & RELATIONSHIP

  • Before You Say Yes

    Before You Say Yes

    Sister in Love

    You cannot retrain a grown man.

    Scripture teaches us in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

    This reminds us that the time for shaping character is during youth. If a man is grown and exhibits troubling behaviours—whether it’s smoking, drinking, or staying out until the early hours—these are not issues you can change. You need to ask yourself: Are these the qualities you can live with for the rest of your life?

    If he has a temper and has struck you “just twice,” as he says, claiming it was a mistake.

    Remember that Proverbs 22:24 warns us, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered.”

    Violence and uncontrolled anger are not small matters, and love alone cannot fix them. Be wise in your decision before committing your life to someone with these traits.

    Brother in Love

    Women are not children, and you cannot train them. It’s a mistake to marry a woman with the hope of changing her into something else. As Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

    Character far outweighs outward beauty or career success. If you marry a woman with questionable character, expecting to turn her into a model wife, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

    It’s unjust to marry a woman who displays a certain lifestyle on social media—whether through immodesty or other behaviours—and then attempt to change her after marriage.

    Galatians 6:7 teaches us, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” If you sow seeds of compromise, don’t be surprised when you reap the consequences of that choice.

    Ultimately, what you choose is what you will live with. Love, by itself, does not change people.

    1 Samuel 16:7 tells us that, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” After the honeymoon phase, both the man and the woman will reveal who they truly are.

    If you enter into marriage with the hope of changing someone, you are setting yourself up for heartache. Choose wisely and pray for God’s guidance before making such a significant commitment.

    WALE ADEWUMI

  • God-Fearing Man or iPhone: A Reflection on Relationship Priorities

    God-Fearing Man or iPhone: A Reflection on Relationship Priorities

    Scripture: Amos 3:3 – “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”

    Recently, on a radio show, a troubling encounter unfolded. A woman lamented about a man who promised her an iPhone in exchange for intimacy. Yet, after the encounter, the promised iPhone never materialized. When asked if she would commit to another man offering her an iPhone, she unashamedly agreed. This anecdote reveals a stark reality of our society’s moral decline, where material possessions overshadow the essence of genuine relationships.

    True relationships require sacrifice before gain. Seeking fulfillment through material possessions before fostering genuine connection may lead to disillusionment and dissatisfaction.

    Many women pray for a God-fearing man, yet their desires often stray towards material wealth and luxury. The discrepancy between what is asked for and what is truly desired complicates the search for meaningful connections. Pursuing individuals based solely on financial status or material possessions neglects the spiritual and character aspects crucial for a fulfilling relationship.

    Scripture: Proverbs 19:14 – “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

    Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and the choices made profoundly impact one’s future. Yet, the journey towards finding a suitable partner is not straightforward. It requires diligence, discernment, and patience to discern the character and compatibility of a potential spouse.

    Marrying wisely is paramount for marital harmony, as wealth does not guarantee happiness or fulfillment. Even the wealthiest couples may find their marriages crumbling if built on superficial foundations.

    The key to lasting relationships lies in mutual agreement beyond materialistic pursuits. When two individuals are aligned in their values, character, and spiritual beliefs, their relationship can withstand the tests of time.

    In the pursuit of love and companionship, let us prioritize virtues over vanity, character over possessions, and spiritual compatibility over material wealth. For it is in genuine connection and shared values that true marital bliss is found.

  • Why Relationships Often Break Down

    Why Relationships Often Break Down

    Why Relationships Often Break Down

    Understanding what you truly desire and committing to a marriage for the right reasons are vital factors that contribute to its success and longevity.

    Without a solid foundation of mutual understanding and commitment, marriages can suffer from instability and dissatisfaction. It’s essential for individuals to deeply contemplate their motivations and values before embarking on such a significant commitment.

    Consider a scenario where a man enters a relationship solely driven by physical attraction. When he no longer perceives his partner as physically appealing, the foundation of their relationship weakens. Similarly, a woman who marries a man for financial security may resent him once she becomes financially independent. Think of a situation where a woman redirects her affection from her partner to her children, never truly loving the man.

    When a relationship is pursued to fulfill selfish desires, it becomes unsustainable, leading to eventual fatigue and disillusionment. Without a deliberate commitment to weather all seasons together, individuals may find themselves questioning why they’ve experienced multiple failed relationships.

    The bedrock of any relationship dictates its ultimate fate. It’s imperative to grasp the significance of clarity and purpose in relationships, as they are fundamental to their success. When individuals enter into relationships with vague intentions or solely to fulfill personal needs such as financial stability or companionship, it often results in dissatisfaction and eventual breakdown.

    Understanding the purpose of a relationship lays the groundwork for a strong and enduring bond, guiding both partners through their shared journey. Without a clear purpose, individuals may continually seek fulfillment in new relationships, perpetuating a cycle of discontentment. Clarity and intentionality pave the way for deeper, more meaningful connections that stand the test of time.

    Ultimately, love untainted by material considerations forms the cornerstone of lasting relationships.

    WALE ADEWUMI

  • Reviving Love: A Biblical Blueprint for Endurance in Relationships

    Reviving Love: A Biblical Blueprint for Endurance in Relationships

    Reviving Love: A Biblical Blueprint for Endurance in Relationships

    In the intricate tapestry of relationships, love stands as the resilient thread that weaves hearts together. When love wanes, the journey can feel arduous, and the destination uncertain. However, rekindling love transforms relationships into enduring partnerships, capable of weathering any storm. Let’s delve into the wisdom of scriptures and real-life examples to illuminate the path of enduring love.

    The Power of Enduring Love

    “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4

    The biblical verse from 1 Corinthians captures the essence of enduring love. Patience, kindness, absence of envy, and humility form the foundation of love that withstands the test of time. When love persists, a couple can navigate challenges, provocations, and uncertainties with resilience and fortitude.

    Real-Life Example: John and Mary’s Journey

    Consider John and Mary, a couple married for several decades. Their enduring love has been a beacon, guiding them through life’s ups and downs. When faced with financial struggles, health issues, or family conflicts, their commitment to each other, rooted in love, has enabled them to endure and emerge stronger.

    The Wages of Waiting: A Reward for Endurance

    “Bring back love, and you will endure until you receive the wages of your waiting.”

    The concept of “wages of waiting” echoes the biblical principle of reaping what you sow. When a couple invests in reviving love—through communication, forgiveness, and intentional efforts—they sow seeds of endurance. The wages come in the form of a strengthened bond, deeper connection, and a resilient partnership that endures the tests of time.

    Scriptural Wisdom on Love’s Resilience

    “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

    1 Peter emphasizes the covering power of love. In enduring relationships, love becomes a shield that protects against the vulnerabilities and shortcomings of each partner. When love is rekindled, it acts as a healing balm, fostering forgiveness and understanding.

    Navigating Challenges Together

    “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

    Ecclesiastes underscores the strength found in unity. Couples bound by enduring love can face challenges with a collective resolve. When one falters, the other becomes the source of strength, exemplifying the synergy that enduring love brings to a relationship.

    The Impact of Love on Endurance

    “The presence of love is so powerful that it can help two people go through any kind of challenge together.”

    The enduring presence of love transforms challenges into opportunities for growth. When partners are anchored in love, they not only endure trials but also learn, evolve, and emerge from difficulties with a deeper understanding of each other.

    In conclusion, the revival of love is the cornerstone of enduring relationships. Guided by the principles of patience, kindness, humility, and resilience found in biblical wisdom, couples can navigate the journey of life hand in hand. Real-life examples, such as John and Mary, exemplify the rewards of enduring love—the wages of waiting—reaping a fulfilling and lasting partnership.

  • Discovering the Incomparable Treasure of Love: A Spiritual and Practical Perspective

    Discovering the Incomparable Treasure of Love: A Spiritual and Practical Perspective

    Discovering the Incomparable Treasure of Love: A Spiritual and Practical Perspective

    In the vast expanse of human experience, a place saturated with love surpasses even the allure of gold gathered like sand. The essence of love, as both a spiritual principle and a practical reality, has the potential to usher in a new realm of abundance, unmatched by material wealth.

    The Spiritual Wealth of Love

    “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

    Scripture, in its profound simplicity, highlights the supremacy of love among virtues. Love stands as the ultimate force that transcends the temporal and material pursuits of life. When embraced and shared, love becomes an enduring source of spiritual wealth, eclipsing the transient allure of gold.

    Love as a Transformative Force

    “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

    Love’s transformative power lies not only in its ability to forge connections but also in its capacity to cover and heal. Deeply embedded in the fabric of relationships, love has the remarkable ability to mend wounds, dissolve conflicts, and create a haven where acceptance reigns.

    Realizing True Wealth in Love

    Consider the lives of individuals who, through their commitment to love, have unearthed a wealth surpassing worldly treasures. Take, for example, the story of Mother Teresa, who dedicated her life to serving the poorest of the poor. Her love-driven mission created an enduring legacy that far outweighs the value of any material wealth.

    The Paradox of Pursuit

    Yet, the paradox of our human condition persists – we tirelessly pursue various ambitions and accumulations, often overlooking the simplicity and profundity of love. If only we could wholeheartedly enter into the realm of love and acceptance, many of the pursuits that consume us might lose their grip on our hearts.

    Biblical Wisdom on Contentment

    “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” – Hebrews 13:5

    Hebrews offers a poignant reminder that contentment stems not from the accumulation of material wealth but from an unwavering trust in the enduring presence of God. The pursuit of love aligns with this divine contentment, bringing fulfillment beyond the fleeting satisfaction derived from earthly pursuits.

    A Life Transformed by Love

    In our quest for love and acceptance, we encounter real-life narratives of individuals who, having found the treasure of love, experience a radical shift in priorities. It may be the couple who, instead of tirelessly amassing wealth, chooses to invest time and energy in building a nurturing and loving home, creating a legacy of familial richness.

    Love’s Bounty: A New Paradigm

    Embracing love offers a paradigm shift where the pursuit of material gain diminishes in significance. The genuine connections forged through love become the true wealth, enriching lives in ways that gold or possessions never could.

    Closing Thoughts: The Choice of Love

    In conclusion, the call to love and acceptance beckons us to a place where the heart’s true wealth is discovered. As we navigate life’s complexities, let us choose the path of love, understanding that its bounty surpasses the transient allure of gold. In love, we find not only spiritual fulfillment but also a practical richness that transforms our lives and those around us.

  • Conquering the True Enemy and Embracing Responsibility

    Conquering the True Enemy and Embracing Responsibility

    In the labyrinth of life’s challenges, it’s easy to lose sight of the genuine adversary—Satan, the master of deception and chaos. Often, in moments of anguish or loss, we unknowingly redirect our frustration and hurt towards those closest to us, inflicting wounds on the very souls we cherish.

    Unveiling the Real Foe: Lessons from Scripture

    In the sacred text, we witness the pernicious schemes of the true enemy. Satan, portrayed as the cunning serpent in Genesis, tempts humanity, instigating discord and separation from God. He prowls like a lion, seeking to devour our peace, joy, and relationships (1 Peter 5:8).

    Transferring Aggression: A Trap to Avoid

    Transferring pain or anger caused by life’s tribulations onto our loved ones is akin to handing Satan a victory. It creates fractures in the harmony we strive to cultivate in our homes and hearts. Scripture cautions against giving the devil a foothold through unresolved anger (Ephesians 4:26-27).

    Shouldering Responsibility: A Pathway to Transformation

    Yet, the beauty of faith lies in the empowerment to take responsibility. It’s the acknowledgment that we possess the agency to evoke change. By taking charge of our responses, actions, and attitudes, we harness the power to attract the kind of life we desire.

    Biblical Portraits of Responsibility

    Consider the narrative of Joseph. Despite enduring betrayal and hardship, he didn’t surrender to bitterness or blame. Instead, he took responsibility for his choices, aligning himself with God’s will, eventually rising to a position of authority and blessing others (Genesis 50:20).

    Collaborating with God: A Catalyst for Change

    Empowered by faith, our collaboration with God becomes the catalyst for transformation. Through prayer, guidance, and a heart receptive to divine direction, we find the strength and wisdom to effect the changes we seek (Philippians 4:13).

    Crafting a Life of Purpose and Harmony

    In the tapestry of existence, we hold the shuttle, weaving our aspirations and dreams. By acknowledging our role in shaping our destiny and partnering with God, we stitch a fabric of purpose, resilience, and harmony.

    Conclusion: A Journey of Redemption

    Don’t fall into the folly of misdirected anger or blame. Recognize the true enemy, safeguard your relationships, and embrace responsibility. For it’s through this conscious endeavor, coupled with divine partnership, that we pave the way for redemption, transformation, and the realization of the life we desire.

  • When You Are Ready to Make Your Marriage to Work

    When You Are Ready to Make Your Marriage to Work

    WHEN YOU ARE SINCERELY READY

    Issues You Should Address to End Crises in Your Marriage

    Many marriages are merely a cohabitation den of strange bedfellows

    If you sincerely want to end crises in your marriage, you must look into the following:

    1. Harboring Offense: Holding onto offenses can become toxic in a marriage. When one or both partners carry grudges or unresolved issues, it leads to resentment, communication breakdown, and emotional distance. It’s essential to address conflicts openly and honestly, striving for forgiveness and understanding to prevent the accumulation of grievances that can poison the relationship.
    2. Difficulty in Overlooking Issues: Every relationship faces challenges, but not all issues need to be escalated or dwelled upon. Knowing how to distinguish between minor irritations and significant concerns is crucial. Learning to let go of minor disagreements or annoyances, without letting them escalate into major conflicts, helps maintain harmony in a marriage.
    3. Inability to De-escalate Quarrels: Arguments are inevitable in any relationship, but it’s vital to know how to de-escalate them. Healthy communication involves learning to take breaks when emotions run high, practicing active listening, and using non-confrontational language. Understanding each other’s triggers and actively working to calm a heated situation prevents quarrels from spiraling out of control.
    4. Don’t deny each other sex: when your sex life break down many areas of your life too will fall apart.
    5. Demanding an Eye for an Eye: Seeking retaliation or trying to “get even” during conflicts only perpetuates a cycle of negativity and hurt. Instead, fostering an environment of understanding, empathy, and forgiveness breaks this cycle. Choosing reconciliation and seeking resolution rather than revenge helps rebuild trust and connection.
    6. Building Walls of Separation: Emotional walls between partners can form due to unresolved issues, lack of communication, or emotional distancing. These walls hinder intimacy and understanding. To overcome this, couples must strive to create a safe and open environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, emotions, and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or rejection.
    7. Having Nothing in Common: Over time, interests, and priorities may evolve, potentially leading to partners feeling they have little in common. However, actively seeking new shared experiences, exploring each other’s interests, and finding common ground fosters a sense of togetherness and helps strengthen the bond between partners.
    8. Not Sharing Joy, Pains, Money, sex etc.: A lack of sharing in a marriage can create a sense of isolation and detachment. Partners should aim to share not only the joys and sorrows of life but also financial responsibilities, dreams, goals, and responsibilities. Open and honest communication about these aspects helps build trust and unity.
    9. Wishing Your Spouse to Fail: In a healthy marriage, both partners should want each other to succeed and thrive. Wishing ill upon one’s spouse indicates deeper issues like resentment or unresolved conflicts. It’s crucial to address these feelings through open dialogue or seek professional help to rebuild a supportive and encouraging partnership.

    Addressing these points by fostering communication, understanding, empathy, and a willingness to work together allows couples to overcome crises, fostering a stronger, more resilient marriage based on mutual respect and love.

  • What Love Experts Don’t Tell You – 4

    IT IS YOUR WORK TO MAKE THINGS WORK

    If you are not happy being single or unmarried, it is important to question why you believe that marriage will bring you joy. The truth is, who you are as an individual will only be amplified by marriage.

    Proverbs 27:19 KJV
    As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man.

    If you do not know how to cohabit and build a strong foundation before entering into marriage, the act of getting married itself will not fundamentally change you. As Mahatma Gandhi once wisely said, “Be the change you want to see in others.” The key to a secure and blissful marriage lies in the effort and commitment you put into it. Never rely solely on your partner to be responsible for your happiness, fulfillment, wealth, and prosperity. You are a significant stakeholder in your own joy and personal growth, both before and after marriage.

    If you are struggling with financial difficulties, it is unrealistic to expect that marriage will magically solve all your problems and bring you riches. This belief is an illusion. If you are unable to contribute to the financial stability and well-being of your family, you will likely become a burden rather than a valuable asset. Your desire for an easy life without taking on responsibilities will only lead to disdain and animosity from your partner and others around you.

    This is why relationships often face challenges when there is a significant difference in status between partners. One partner may be focused on personal growth, building wealth, and developing skills, while the other may view the marriage as an opportunity to exploit the fortune of their partner.

    In essence, the level of investment you put into a marriage significantly determines the level of bliss and fulfillment you can expect to receive from it. It is crucial to understand that to find true happiness in a marriage, we must take responsibility for our actions and contributions. We must strive to become partners who actively contribute to the growth and well-being of the entire family. A marriage that brings blessings and abundance is one that is nurtured and cultivated, allowing the best qualities of both individuals to flourish and benefit the union.

  • What Love Experts Don’t Tell You – 3

    PERSONAL GROWTH LEADS TO MARITAL BLISS

    GUARANTEE FOR A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE

    Consider these wise sayings:

    1. “A lizard in Nigeria will not suddenly grow into an alligator in America.” This adage emphasizes that one’s environment or circumstances cannot dramatically transform their inherent nature or identity. Similarly, marriage cannot magically become blissful without the active participation and efforts of both partners.
    2. The quality of a marriage is a reflection of the individuals involved. The type of people who choose to be united in matrimony will greatly influence the overall dynamics and satisfaction within the relationship. Therefore, it is essential to carefully consider the character, values, and compatibility of a potential spouse before committing to marriage.
    3. A blissful marriage cannot be sustained by a person lacking manners and decorum. Respect, kindness, and consideration are crucial ingredients for a harmonious marital relationship. Similarly, someone with immoral and corrupt tendencies will struggle to appreciate and cultivate true happiness within the context of marriage.
    4. An individual plagued by anger and a volatile temper will only long for a happy home without taking the necessary steps to achieve it. It is important to acknowledge that a blissful marriage is incompatible with someone who consistently exhibits anger and a lack of emotional control.
    5. Proverbs 21:19 in the King James Version of the Bible states, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman.” This biblical verse cautions against being in a relationship with a woman who constantly engages in arguments and displays anger. The principle also applies to men who exhibit similar behaviours.
    6. Take Satan to Paradise, and he will transform it into hell. This saying emphasizes that an individual’s negative qualities and destructive tendencies can profoundly impact even the most favourable and pleasant circumstances. In the context of marriage, it signifies that a toxic and harmful person can turn a once-loving partnership into a miserable experience.
    7. Marriage often serves as a mirror, reflecting the true nature of the individuals involved. It is a union that reveals the strengths, weaknesses, and character of both partners. Therefore, to create a great home and foster a successful marriage, it is essential to focus on personal growth and becoming the best version of oneself rather than solely seeking the perfect partner.

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  • What Love Experts Don’t Tell You

    DECIDING TO MAKE IT WORK IS ALL YOU NEED

    In order to guarantee a blissful relationship, one must make a conscious decision to pursue it. This decision is not to be taken lightly, as it holds the power to transform the dynamics of a marriage. When we grasp the simplicity of this statement, we can find true rest within our relationships.

    Struggling with the truth of marriage will only lead to further disconnection and fragmentation. We are all just a moment of decision away from the life we truly desire. It is crucial to decide what we truly want: holding onto our egos, the need to always be right, and the pursuit of perfection, or embracing the path of bliss.

    Figuratively, many marriages resemble a picture where couples walk in different directions within their hearts, separated by an invisible wall. This image conveys messages of ego, lack of agreement, stubbornness, and a poor understanding of the essence of marriage.

    This pattern will persist until one person decides to break it. It often takes just one individual who comprehends the true meaning of marriage to initiate positive change. There are those who, when faced with their spouse’s shortcomings, choose to retreat to their own tents. Ego, self-righteousness, self-exaltation, and hardness of heart have all contributed to the absence of bliss in many homes.

    Using the picture as an analogy, one person must wholeheartedly decide to do everything in their power to make the marriage work. It is important to remember that any good thing in life comes with a price. Just as a verdant field must be nurtured, freedom and bliss in marriage require a sense of responsibility.

    Rather than waiting for your spouse to come crawling back, take the initiative to meet them and resolve issues. Even when your partner has squandered everything, like the prodigal son, maintain a watchful eye and be ready to embrace them with open arms. Remember, as a Christian, this is the only valid path to a blissful marriage. To argue against it is to settle for the old, unsatisfying experiences.

    When you resolutely determine to make your marriage work, it will. With unwavering commitment, you can let go of your ego and create harmony within the relationship. While you may have initially believed your spouse to be the cause of all the problems, your response can either heal or worsen the situation. Don’t stay perched on your high horse, but instead, humble yourself and work towards reconciliation. Recall that Jesus came down to earth to save us, and he did everything possible to redeem the sinner.

    Do your utmost to support and help your spouse. Once you have done your part, divine power will step in and grant you the bliss you seek. Bliss in marriage is a crown reserved for those who are willing to sacrifice and pay the price. It is the reward for turning the mess within your spouse into a message of love and understanding.

    Discard the advice of relationship experts who speak without true knowledge and experience. Listen to those who have walked the path before and can say, “We have handled and tasted these things.” Follow the wisdom of those who have paved the way.

    If this message seems difficult to comprehend, save it and revisit it until its meaning becomes clear. It holds the secret to unlocking the bliss within your marriage.