WORLD CHANGERS NETWORK

Tag: husband

  • DON’T HESITATE TO LOVE

    *DON’T HESITATE TO LOVE

    Tony has everything going for him… He is adorable, light in complexion with a beautiful face to match.

    He works in one of these oil companies. He has everything a young man has, owned a home and two fine cars.

    Sometimes people wonder what his problem was that he’s not married at thirty seven.

    Nobody seem to know, not even Tony himself and the many girls around him seeking to have him as husband.

    Tony on his 37th birthday began to cry profusely all alone in his bedroom in spite of the many birthday wishes boozing through his phones and social media.

    At this point Tony knew he needed a wife desperately. As a Christian he knew the utter temptations out there and the internal burning within him.

    He needs a friend and a companion who would be around him to cheer him and bond with him.

    He laid himself flat on the rug; tired and deflated not knowing what to do and who to share his anguish.

    He was falling depressed and suddenly he remembered one of uncles.

    Uncle Derin is special and unique among all his relatives. He has the time for him anytime of the day and has been on him on issue of marriage.

    Tony dialed Uncle Derin. As soon as the call got through Tony burst into tears and wept profusely. His uncle allowed him to drain himself of his bitterness.

    Tony, what’s the matter? Do you lose your job? Is anything bad happened at home? How about Mom and Dad? Talk to me please.

    Tony after a while replied: I’m tired. I need a wife. I cannot go the road anymore all alone.

    Uncle Derin: I understand my brother. I know how you feel. I expect you to get to this point earlier. I understand. The older we get the more we need a friend closer than our brethren.

    Marriage isn’t an accident Tony. And it’s not a necessary evil; it’s unavoidably a necessity except for very few unique cases as Christ himself said.

    Tony: Uncle I’ve been forming strength until now. I thought I can go a long while alone but now I’m crashing.

    Uncle Derin continues: Marriage is what brings stability to a man’s journey when he gets older. It is not an easy journey alone.

    Man is fashioned to love and get into marriage. The earlier we understand and appropriate this truth the better.

    When delayed unduly it exposes one to undue pressures as you have right now Tony. This pressure if not well managed could lead to some careless steps.

    Tony, tell me. Why have you got so long to realize a need for a wife.

    Such careless steps could lead to a godly brother like you impregnate a lady out of wedlock or just go outrightly berserk into immoral life.

    Tony: Uncle, it’s a long story. Very long.

    I got a very good job at 21 and I am blessed with smooth career without any hitch. I just felt marriage is a burden.

    So, I believed women are at my mercy. I thought I was the one holding the ace as I thrashed everyone of them that comes my way.

    Uncle Derin: Ha a, my brother money and career have their own place. Love has it’s own. Love isn’t just one of the things you need; it’s the most important after God.

    I was so full of pride I had no mercy for their emotional pains. I had caused many girls so much pain and tears letting them know how condescendingly low they were to me.

    Uncle Derin, I have another big problem. This particular one is hard to solve.

    Do you know that I find it difficult to fall in love?

    Now I know. As I lie down in my room crying I feel like thrashing everything I have if only I can just get a lovely spouse.

    Uncle Derin: How and why?

    Tony: Any time I come across any lady and we begin to get attracted to each other then suddenly it will dawn on me that she’s imperfect.

    With the story in town and with the ones I’ve seen, I just concluded within me that there’s no good wife out there.

    So I get apprehensive and afraid that I call off many relationship halfway.

    Uncle, the truth is I have no faith within me to build a home… What I see in women: adulterers, husband killers, deceivers, gold diggers and many unprintable names.

    I’m down and afraid Uncle.

    Uncle Derin: Tony, now that you know your fears and problems your problem is half solved.

    Many people have big problems but don’t know they really have problem.

    Many times, the things that delay marriages have little to nothing to add to love.

    We have ladies just like you at 45 still expecting her fiance to call from USA or abroad.

    Some believe they cannot marry a struggling man.

    Some want their man to own certain class of car or job before they can say yes.

    … *And I laugh in Hebrew*

    *Many a times, it’s our ego that’s blocking us from experiencing love.

    Uncle Derin continues: When next you feel love be bold to move ahead, relegate to the background your fear, ego and negativity.

    Loving and to keep loving requires deliberate focusing. Focusing on what you want.

    When you love, love for the moment leave the fear of the future to tackle itself in the future.

    Give love all the chance.

    Everything we do in life has it’s own risk, business, having kids, travelling, etc.

    He who is afraid his ship will capsize will not leave the shore

    What’s stopping you? The lies in your mind and your ego.

    Tony, you’re 37 now, if you don’t manage your fear you won’t know when you clock 50.

    Uncle Derin continues: I will soon leave you to think on what I’ve said but before then, think on this…

    Nothing in this world is perfect in itself.

    By working on dust we turn it into beautiful homes.

    Everything in the world of man isn’t yet perfect. It achieve state of perfection when we work on it.

    Why many marriages are in rubbles is because the occupants don’t know it requires them working on it.

    Tony, marry and make it work by working on it.

    Tony, many homes in spite of it’s beauty has a toilet.

    Man no matter his handsomeness or beauty has excrement within him or her.

    In spite of the excrement in man, man is beautiful and handsome

    Marriages in spite of their challenges still represent the best of human institutions.

    Tell them also, if they refuse to marry in good time, more pressure will set in… Like you are having now Tony.

    Tony, tell your friends who will read about your story… They should go and marry and let them leave excuse ~jaare~

    Uncle Derin: OK do I just marry just anybody?

    Tony, I can see in you the readiness… Your lovely wife will soon walk into your life.

    Uncle Derin said laughing hysterically. For the first time in many days Tony was lifted.

    Uncle Derin: No, don’t marry just anybody. See there’s divine power in love.

    When you’re ready, love will find you.

    Tony mutters: Love will find you when you’re ready.

    Uncle Derin: I have a business to attend to. Next week I’ll see you and tell you the story of Mary

    Tony, as I leave please list the lessons you’ve learnt from our discussion today.

    Not Mary the mother of Jesus… How she narrowly missed love.

    As Uncle Derin dropped the phone Lizzy’s call came in.

    Lizzy: Tony, who was the person holding your line since?

    Tony: My Uncle Derin. How you dey?

    Lizzy: Come on boy. Today is your birthday… I have a surprise for you. I’m at your door.

    Tony: Could this be love?

    _THE END_

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WALE ADEWUMI

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  • THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

    *THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE IN 2021*

    Many marriages after the solemnization has nothing to compare to Christ.

    Aside the solemnization procedure, nothing else is in Christ nature.

    Our advisers are out there. Christ and the bible are pushed aside.

    Then we wonder why the marriage is heating up and the pressure is mounting up.

    *2021 will be different.*

    Any sympathy that’s outside the word will only bring sorrow.

    *Don’t allow anyone to understand your plight who will advise you against your marriage* .

    In simple English, a Christian marriage is the one which is patterned after Christ

    And a Christian marriage doesn’t mean both couples are doing the right thing…

    What it means is that the one person who knows himself or herself in the union is doing the right thing.

    For the fact that brother is lashing out fiery tongue doesn’t make him a Christian.

    Possibly after marriage you saw his other side…

    For by their fruits ye shall know them. Not by their sharp vision of sister or their acoustic tongues

    For the fact one of them turn out as an error of mismatch doesn’t stop the marriage being a Christian marriage

    In as much somebody is standing for Christ, then Christ is still reigning in that home.

    References:

    2 Corinthians 4:7-11 KJV
    But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. [8] We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; [9] Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; [10] Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. [11] For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

    Once you still carry Christ in you I’m spite of marital storms Christ remains with you

    *Contextual text is here*

    1 Corinthians 7:12-16 KJV
    But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. [13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. [14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [15] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases : but God hath called us to peace. [16] For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

    What the bible says is: when you have a mate who lives contrary to the Bible it doesn’t matter whether he is John or Joan he is unbelieving.

    Stay with him or her as a worthy Christians.

    That by your profession of Christ you may convert him or her.

    *Today’s Christian is a different ballgame*

    We are like the thermometer. We are unstable.

    The thermometer adjusts to the temperature of its surrounding.

    Today’s Christian will cook good dish when the husband supply’s.

    Today’s Christian will go into adultery when the husband too goes into adultery

    Today’s Christian will fall back into sin when he notices his mate has relapsed into sin.

    If you know what God calls you, *TREASURE* you’ll not fall into unrighteousness because your partner has fallen.

    Instead you stand possibly to redeem him from the fallen state.

    Today’s Christians will fight over baby issues like mere not waiting on each other while stepping out of the home.

    The truth is: If you’re not living the Christian life in your marriage, you cannot experience the Christian joy in the home.

    _This is why you have to recalibrate before 2021_

    If your righteous disposition is based on your spouse attitude you’re still at the elementary spiritual class.

    *Marital joy and bliss don’t come because your partner is perfect. It comes as a spiritual gift after you have live out the Christian life and truth with your spouse.*

    This is why from my experience I have marital bliss where nothing broken or nothing missing.

    It’s not because my wife does all things perfectly well but because with God in honesty and truth towards her.

    And it doesn’t mean that I don’t let her down sometimes but it’s not deliberately to spite her or being vengeful whatsoever.

    *God sees the heart, when your heart is sincerely committed to living as a Christian in your marriage, that is when you begin to enjoy marriage indeed.*

    If you’re waiting for your spouse to change that habit before you enjoy your marriage you may have to wait for a lifetime.

    Marital bliss is just a decision away from you: The commitment to live the Christian life in your marriage irrespective of what your spouse is or what he turns to.

    Thank you for today.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    WALE ADEWUMI

     

     

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  • THE SECRET OF MAKING A GOOD CHOICE

    *THE SECRET OF MAKING A GOOD CHOICE*

    Good evening brethren. I’ll share with our youths a very pertinent topic that will significantly determine whether you’ll have a wonderful marriage or not.

    I hope many of you will humble yourself to consider the discussion.

    I’m going to deal with the issue of feelings and an inner knowing/acknowledgement/word.

    *I realize why most relationship fumble this days: They fail because they are built on feelings*

    Feelings change and are unstable elements to rely upon while deciding a serious issue as marriage.

    _Never build your relationship on feelings_

    Getting married require you having a sound mind and being in charge of your rein.

    I was discussing with a young man recently about who to marry. He said I have no feelings towards a lady.

    Possibly the Lady isn’t meant for him.

    I told him something that surprised him:

    *I told him: “I have no feelings for my wife when I met her.”*

    My wife wasn’t the most beautiful lady in my circle.

    My wife wasn’t the best dressed.

    My wife wasn’t the most righteous.

    *While looking for a wife, I wasn’t looking for the best woman. I was looking for my wife. Simple*

    What you go for is what you are likely going to get.

    If you’re looking for a sophisticated lady, you would most likely get her. But her sophistication may land you in trouble.

    Proverbs 17:1 KJV
    Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.

    Proverbs 25:24 KJV
    It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

    *Marriage is not a competition for the attraction of the rich, educated or famous spouse.*

    *It is about getting the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh*

    So getting a great spouse is way beyond feelings.

    Getting your own spouse should be predominantly determined by what God is saying or has said.

    There’s a knowing deep within you when you meet a suitable partner.

    I know a great man of God who met his wife at a motor park.

    It takes an inner knowledge to have his senses tuned in.

    In Genesis 24:

    When Abraham need a wife for Isaac, we discovered Abraham didn’t use any physical yardstick than factors that are in congruency with earlier word of God to him… He knew where to marry and where not to marry.

    So he sent Eliezar to get a wife for his son *based on intrinsic specification*

    Rebekah also, though not having met Isaac followed.

    What happened? God had gone ahead to determine the relationship

    Rebekah was an answer to already spoken prayer:

    Genesis 24:42-46 KJV
    And I came this day unto the well, and said, O Lord God of my master Abraham, if now thou do prosper my way which I go: [43] Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water, and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink; [44] And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the Lord hath appointed out for my master’s son. [45] And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew water : and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee. [46] And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her shoulder, and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so I drank, and she made the camels drink also.

    Rebekah walked into prophecy.

    Looking at the relationship, it wasn’t set on feelings but word spoken ahead in prayer.

    In the case of Ruth and Boaz, it wasn’t based on love at first sight.

    Ruth could chose a younger male partner but she was prevailed upon by strict marital vow and process.

    Boaz a rich man also could look down on Ruth a peasant.

    Yet he also submitted to duty and responsibility as the near-kin to Mahlon and Chilion.

    Boaz married Ruth based on duty, responsibility, purpose and maturity.

    Maturity in choices is far beyond feelings.

    I never married based on feelings but based on sound decisions, one of such decisions are:

    Being a very responsible and dependable husband

    Responsibilities in marriage has nothing to do with feelings.

    Marriage built on feelings crack easily because immediately the feeling is gone they begin to have problem.

    Remember, the marriage vow is about *doings* not *feelings*

    Being nice to my wife has nothing to do with her actions or inactions. It has all to do with my vow and decisions.

    Marriage is kept year in year out by decisions and vows.

    And this decisions and vows are based on words you received within your heart.

    When I met my wife, I saw some unique virtues I desired in a woman.

    Then I heard again within me when I was beginning to relax action, go for her or you’ll stay long as a bachelor.

    I obeyed the inner promptings and the inner voice…

    I felt right about her. We got married and like many marriages we have some challenges but few yet I never had reason to secretly engage other ladies around.

    The reason: I had an inner agreement and witness to move into the relationship… Not feelings

    Remember, feelings is about physical agreement matching our expectations.

    True love is inner agreement matching divine expectations.

    When you match divine expectations your marriage is birth in heaven and hordes of hell cannot quench that relationship.

    When it’s true love it has nothing to do with height, complexion, wealth, fame, etc.

    You just know you love the person, nothing more and nothing less.

    *True love is never a bad market*

    God will always give you the best suitable for you if only you can wait upon him.

    I’m not saying you’ll marry a flawless person, but your spouse will understand you.

    I’m not saying you wouldn’t quarrel but after quarreling you’ll always remember where you started from.

    The Bible says: you’ll hear a voice saying, this is the way.

    A true relationship is built on an indelible deep knowing which determines the attraction in the first place. Without a knowing which should be of God, never start a relationship.

    Surely, when you follow God’s voice it will lead to a safe haven.

    *What’s God saying about that relationship is it built on the sandy soil of feelings or on the rock of God’s word?*

    You cannot help God based on your fickle standard. The heart of man is desperately evil, don’t fall for feelings.

    When the feeling is gone that guy or lady may become your nightmare or untameable monster in human clothing

    *Please, let God choose for you*

    Let us pray: Lord go ahead of me and choose for me. Lord, shatter every wrong choices I’ve made by the power of the Holy Spirit.

    Lord help me not cage my destiny by wrong partner.

    In Jesus name

  • BE THE COVERING ANGEL, DON’T BE THE KILLER PARTNER

    Everybody wants to play dirty when a relationship go sour. When one partner betray the trust, jilt the other or go into extramarital affairs.

    What makes the difference?
    1. Individual outlooks
    2. Individual philosophy
    3. Perceptions
    4. Personal values
    5. Self esteem.

    If your outlook is expansive you wouldn’t fight on that which could end you in jail.

    Destroy your family story.

    Dent the future of your children

    Take you to hell fire.
    There’s more to lose fighting than keeping cool. Keeping cool imbued within you spiritual power and stability. If you have personal respect you will never fight dirty.

    Do you know the double title the Bible gave you?

    A royal priesthood

    Prayerfully tell yourself, I’ll comport myself with the highest respect in marriage… I’ll not fight dirty no matter what.

    Instead of fighting, this is a hard-line decision to carry out: I’ll be a covering angel in my marriage.

    Below is the real life story that spur this message:

    THE REAL LIFE STORY

    This story was told by the victim to somebody close to me: It happened that one day the woman went out like every other day. Ahead of her she saw crowds gathering and as she moved closer they pointed to her that: That’s the wife coming.

    Her heart skipped. Within seconds she cast her glance closely only to see her husband naked.

    She was confused. Ha!

    What should she do?
    Though very shameful sight was before her.

    To reach a decision was not hard for her due to her background and depth. She went swiftly to kneel down to the neighborhood elders pleading on his behalf. He was caught red handed with a neighbours wife. So the reason he was stripped naked.

    Immediately as she appeased them they began to amend. Her action was surprising and unexpected. If she could forgive so easily why wouldn’t they? She paid unusual price, and the tide changed for her favour.

    Her naked was handed over to her without further molestation. She removed her wrapper and used it to cover the husband’s nakedness. She was left with a skirt.

    She took him by the hand and led him lovingly back home. Many of you are grumbling that you cannot do that?

    Here is her harvest after that day:

    The man became humbled and homely since his youthful days until old age.

    The man wouldn’t do anything without the wife’s approval.

    The man handed over all of his finances to her.

    The man was never caught in any adulterous mess ever.

    *The man literally handed over his life to his wife who turned to his covering angel.

    Marriage isn’t made for the good time alone.

    *The truth is: marriage is intended specially as a cover for days of troubles. It’s not just about merry and jamboree.

    Lack of this truth is why many aren’t enjoying marriage.

    It’s the level of covering you grant your spouse that will elicit awe and respect.

    Luke 6:36 KJV

    Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

    Recently a famous actor WILL SMITH had his wife JADA caught in adultery.

    He didn’t kill her, he didn’t divorce her. He went ahead and reconcile with her and they moved on.

    That’s covering…

    Do you know what? theirs is an international exposure of dirty linen yet they overcame that phase in their relationship.

    Why can’t you?

    A lesson for us I think

    Life is so short, to keep the fight and struggles. It’s the devil’s intention to use such thing to keep you down and weigh you out throughout life.

    Move on… Don’t be a killer spouse because of any of such things.

    Many a times, when you become a cover for your spouse, you’re actually dignifying yourself and covering your own person.

    It brings honour to you.

    It shows that you’re a strong and dependable person.

    Think on these things.

    And may you receive wisdom, resilience and capacity to manage family crisis in Jesus name.

    The capacity to manage family challenges is the pathway to meaningful relationship.

    Talking from experience

  • FAMILY FINANCE – 2

    REAL LIFE STORY TO HELP FAMILIES IN FINANCES

    I’m happy coming your way.
    We believe this program meets you well.

    This topic is important and very relevant in this period of financial challenges globally. This period is crucial and requires dexterity in the handling of family finances. It affects us all one way or the other.

    Some family will go under due to covid-19 and its attending financial constraints. May we be among those lifted in Jesus name.

    REAL LIFE STORY 2

    I was there during the wedding and was given conspicuous position. The wedding was great and well attended with personalities and dignitaries from the area. It’s obvious this sister caught a good fish from the ocean of mankind. The guy was handsome, cool headed and delectable. It was obvious this sister will not suffer or have to bear regular nuances of lack among the regular.

    The dowry was an overflow of anointing.

    What a lucky sister!
    Iyan to ma yoo eeyan, ooju lati mo.
    Seeing is believing.

    True to the sight. The marriage was blissful. The man was up and doing satisfying his wife. She didn’t complain not for once.

    Then I received phone call recently: I’m no longer in his house. He fought me, beat me and drove me out of the house.

    Three years gone by. They had kid(s), the man made her his treasurer and open a beautiful shop for her. Some thought she used diabolical power to gain control of him. Their love was pure and true. 

    I asked her and she told me, his business was down and for this reason he came down on the shop as his hope. As the shop dwindles covid-19 came in and made matter worse.

    She was advised: Stop feeding him from the shop so that he can come back to his senses.
    The man began to struggle to get what to eat. Then stopped feeding or attending to her and the children. He feeds himself.

    The house was divided.

    Then she refused to open up to him sexually. Fire was on the mountain but she was oblivious of where all this was heading.

    The man became aggressive and drove her away and away from the shop. Then she calls.
    What lessons can we bring up and out of the story to help family finances?

    Lesson: Be careful those who give you advice.
    Let me give this instance: I’ve been in deep holes many time that it was my wife that bailed me out.

    Once in a while we fail and the wife or husband is important to stand by us then. Seriously, ignorance is to believe the man will always be well boxed up up financially. This utopian expectation has destroyed many homes.

    He is not God

    Sometimes he gets confuse like a small child.
    We can see it here that the one who fall is not spelt out whether the man or the woman
    One of my advice to her: Standing together will fast track healing of finances than fighting.

    In her case they are separated but work is ongoing to get them together again.
    When anyone fall, it’s the duty of the other to pull up the other up.

    Another advice I gave her: Peradventure the man isn’t ready to rise again once beaten, the woman should know that double barrel grace is coming on her.

    I told her, God seeing her faithfulness can multiply her ten times and beyond. Instead of fighting.

    This is why we are bringing this discussion together: Women should avoid the painful path of financial squabbles that may destroy the home: what if the man is paralyzed or dead? She should find a means of moving on with her life. I know this may be a hard reality for women who were always dependent on their spouses.

    Life goes on:

    This is a hard time everywhere. When the money becomes scarce during Covid-19 don’t put a global problem on your spouse’s head.
    It’s no ones fault.

    If there’s anything to do, this is the time to live in perfect understanding, coming together and praying together as husband and wife. Don’t make your spouse look stupid this time around.

    Even world presidents behave stupid and confuse than you this period of Covid-19. Your spouse and you have even tried that you are still alive not depressed. Even in my family, few days past we had to pray specially on our finances. This time and season will pass away. Let it not be reason to destroy your home and marriage and let not mere covid-19 separate your home