DON’T HESITATE TO LOVE

*DON’T HESITATE TO LOVE

Tony has everything going for him… He is adorable, light in complexion with a beautiful face to match.

He works in one of these oil companies. He has everything a young man has, owned a home and two fine cars.

Sometimes people wonder what his problem was that he’s not married at thirty seven.

Nobody seem to know, not even Tony himself and the many girls around him seeking to have him as husband.

Tony on his 37th birthday began to cry profusely all alone in his bedroom in spite of the many birthday wishes boozing through his phones and social media.

At this point Tony knew he needed a wife desperately. As a Christian he knew the utter temptations out there and the internal burning within him.

He needs a friend and a companion who would be around him to cheer him and bond with him.

He laid himself flat on the rug; tired and deflated not knowing what to do and who to share his anguish.

He was falling depressed and suddenly he remembered one of uncles.

Uncle Derin is special and unique among all his relatives. He has the time for him anytime of the day and has been on him on issue of marriage.

Tony dialed Uncle Derin. As soon as the call got through Tony burst into tears and wept profusely. His uncle allowed him to drain himself of his bitterness.

Tony, what’s the matter? Do you lose your job? Is anything bad happened at home? How about Mom and Dad? Talk to me please.

Tony after a while replied: I’m tired. I need a wife. I cannot go the road anymore all alone.

Uncle Derin: I understand my brother. I know how you feel. I expect you to get to this point earlier. I understand. The older we get the more we need a friend closer than our brethren.

Marriage isn’t an accident Tony. And it’s not a necessary evil; it’s unavoidably a necessity except for very few unique cases as Christ himself said.

Tony: Uncle I’ve been forming strength until now. I thought I can go a long while alone but now I’m crashing.

Uncle Derin continues: Marriage is what brings stability to a man’s journey when he gets older. It is not an easy journey alone.

Man is fashioned to love and get into marriage. The earlier we understand and appropriate this truth the better.

When delayed unduly it exposes one to undue pressures as you have right now Tony. This pressure if not well managed could lead to some careless steps.

Tony, tell me. Why have you got so long to realize a need for a wife.

Such careless steps could lead to a godly brother like you impregnate a lady out of wedlock or just go outrightly berserk into immoral life.

Tony: Uncle, it’s a long story. Very long.

I got a very good job at 21 and I am blessed with smooth career without any hitch. I just felt marriage is a burden.

So, I believed women are at my mercy. I thought I was the one holding the ace as I thrashed everyone of them that comes my way.

Uncle Derin: Ha a, my brother money and career have their own place. Love has it’s own. Love isn’t just one of the things you need; it’s the most important after God.

I was so full of pride I had no mercy for their emotional pains. I had caused many girls so much pain and tears letting them know how condescendingly low they were to me.

Uncle Derin, I have another big problem. This particular one is hard to solve.

Do you know that I find it difficult to fall in love?

Now I know. As I lie down in my room crying I feel like thrashing everything I have if only I can just get a lovely spouse.

Uncle Derin: How and why?

Tony: Any time I come across any lady and we begin to get attracted to each other then suddenly it will dawn on me that she’s imperfect.

With the story in town and with the ones I’ve seen, I just concluded within me that there’s no good wife out there.

So I get apprehensive and afraid that I call off many relationship halfway.

Uncle, the truth is I have no faith within me to build a home… What I see in women: adulterers, husband killers, deceivers, gold diggers and many unprintable names.

I’m down and afraid Uncle.

Uncle Derin: Tony, now that you know your fears and problems your problem is half solved.

Many people have big problems but don’t know they really have problem.

Many times, the things that delay marriages have little to nothing to add to love.

We have ladies just like you at 45 still expecting her fiance to call from USA or abroad.

Some believe they cannot marry a struggling man.

Some want their man to own certain class of car or job before they can say yes.

… *And I laugh in Hebrew*

*Many a times, it’s our ego that’s blocking us from experiencing love.

Uncle Derin continues: When next you feel love be bold to move ahead, relegate to the background your fear, ego and negativity.

Loving and to keep loving requires deliberate focusing. Focusing on what you want.

When you love, love for the moment leave the fear of the future to tackle itself in the future.

Give love all the chance.

Everything we do in life has it’s own risk, business, having kids, travelling, etc.

He who is afraid his ship will capsize will not leave the shore

What’s stopping you? The lies in your mind and your ego.

Tony, you’re 37 now, if you don’t manage your fear you won’t know when you clock 50.

Uncle Derin continues: I will soon leave you to think on what I’ve said but before then, think on this…

Nothing in this world is perfect in itself.

By working on dust we turn it into beautiful homes.

Everything in the world of man isn’t yet perfect. It achieve state of perfection when we work on it.

Why many marriages are in rubbles is because the occupants don’t know it requires them working on it.

Tony, marry and make it work by working on it.

Tony, many homes in spite of it’s beauty has a toilet.

Man no matter his handsomeness or beauty has excrement within him or her.

In spite of the excrement in man, man is beautiful and handsome

Marriages in spite of their challenges still represent the best of human institutions.

Tell them also, if they refuse to marry in good time, more pressure will set in… Like you are having now Tony.

Tony, tell your friends who will read about your story… They should go and marry and let them leave excuse ~jaare~

Uncle Derin: OK do I just marry just anybody?

Tony, I can see in you the readiness… Your lovely wife will soon walk into your life.

Uncle Derin said laughing hysterically. For the first time in many days Tony was lifted.

Uncle Derin: No, don’t marry just anybody. See there’s divine power in love.

When you’re ready, love will find you.

Tony mutters: Love will find you when you’re ready.

Uncle Derin: I have a business to attend to. Next week I’ll see you and tell you the story of Mary

Tony, as I leave please list the lessons you’ve learnt from our discussion today.

Not Mary the mother of Jesus… How she narrowly missed love.

As Uncle Derin dropped the phone Lizzy’s call came in.

Lizzy: Tony, who was the person holding your line since?

Tony: My Uncle Derin. How you dey?

Lizzy: Come on boy. Today is your birthday… I have a surprise for you. I’m at your door.

Tony: Could this be love?

_THE END_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WALE ADEWUMI

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