REAL LIFE DISCUSSION: FOCUS IS TO HELP TURN FAMILY FINANCES AROUND
Many home’s inability to handle their common finance brings an end to a glorious relationship. I’m going to use real life illustrations. As much as possible couples will need to share the contents together and work on a resolution that will help them.
My prayer: God will speak to our hearts in Jesus name.
Here is a scripture I want couples to commit to heart:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 KJV
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. [10] For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone ? [12] And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Verse 10 is the crucial scripture for tonight discussion:
Ecclesiastes 4:10 KJV
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
I’m not going to preach here. I’ll tell us stories. Then let’s pick the inherent lessons. I will be using fictitious names and if you share similar experiences it’s coincidence.
Case 1
I know of a woman who works in a moderately good organization. It was clear she was the breadwinner and she’s not hiding it. She says it and everyone in the neighbourhood knew that. Her stepping and carriage all shows that she’s the controller.
We could see it in how the children relates with the father. The husband is a struggling man in every sense who’s trying to save his honour. He was ready to do anything… I mean anything.
As I’m saying this story I cry within for the man. And I’m praying for every man and woman in such situation that God will intervene and raise you up. This do happen to women also whereby the man who works will be so full of pride that he begins to treat the wife like a dustbin. Such attitude makes the weaker one have a miserable life.
If you vaunt your achievement against your spouse you are not wise and it’s shear wickedness. Don’t be angry, please follow through. This message is to save you from a bad ending please.
The story continues: in the midst of the struggling the man had opportunity of distributing a product. It began to grow but needing more supports and being weighed with growing responsibilities. He needs a transport system for distribution and a little more capitalization.
Meanwhile the wife had a car and changing a car – instead of helping with the older vehicle she wants him to pay for it… A struggling man.
Her position was he has squandered so much in the past.
The point is: the man is beginning to show some commitment and seriousness but his past business failures were his tags. The wife and her family refused to see any transformation. A close friend will go to her regularly, don’t allow this man to crash, support his business, let it grow. She felt they have to share responsibilities knowing that she’s favoured.
Finally, a little challenge here and there the man’s business was weighed down with too much load of financial responsibilities.
Then the business died.
The entire family responsibilities now became 100% the wife’s. Within few years her finances also crashed and struggling due to too much loads which she bears.
This is the financial wisdom:
Ecclesiastes 4:10 KJV
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
The marriage in narration is a kind of cohabitation which isn’t different from single life. Marriages that operates like the one in the story are only living in fool paradise. The essence of marriage is to blend resources in a way that leads to promotion and abundance of all.
How was she supposed to act? She needs to sow her seeds into the business of the husband. The old car would have made the business easier. This means more capacity and distribution will lead to more income.
By now his business would have been bigger and possibly bigger than his wife’s which would have redound to abundance around the family.
Now that they need more money his supposed thriving business will become the cash cow.
With impatient she was party to killing the goose that lay the golden egg.
Ecclesiastes 4:10 KJV
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. In marriages there will be moment of financial fall. Let not the stronger think that’s how things will continue to be. Whatever you do for your spouse has a way of blessing you, vindicating you or haunting you. Choose one
God who puts it in your hands isn’t making a mistake. A miserable mortal should never pridefully vaunt his wealth.
Nobody knows tomorrow isn’t a curse it’s a statement. Your thinking should be how do you magnify it, create family wealth, invest in your partner, make your partner a resourceful person, etc.
When it’s only you in the financial picture of your home I shake my head pitifully for you. I have a story recently… A woman had a very rich husband.
He died suddenly…
The wife end up picking a menial job to fend for her struggling family, now that the bread winner is gone. When you’re not there you should have someone to keep the family legacy especially financial buoyancy in order to procure stable life for your children. So if you’re the breadwinner, find a means of strengthening your partner’s finances; let’s plan for the unforeseeable future.
No matter the big dream of the man, since he didn’t invest in the wife his children will go from the high estate to take a place among the locals. I have known big men children who became near beggars… Struggling later in the future.
The best place to lock your wealth is within your family. Do you think your wife is a waster. Train her for your sake. He has ruined many funds in that business. Remember the Bible didn’t say your first business will be a flyer.
The Bible says… Sow in seven, ye in eight for you do not know that which will bring forth
I’ve failed more than many of my mates. Yet, my wife stood by me.
The giants fail, squander and struggle but because they have a wife or husband standing beside them… You don’t know what they have been through until they tell you. That man who is successful is having a wife who stood with him through the rough days of failure.
A woman who raised great children in spite of her successful career is because she didn’t thrashed her husband. Remember, money alone do not make a home. But if you stay through and true… You’ll make more money and stability later in life.
Hey, let not the momentary financial door you are currently enjoying destroy your marital joy. Who told you your spouse is written off?
Peradventure you divorce. Then the no-do-well spouse finally learn the game of money he or she may be far wealthy. Let’s be careful.
You have invested ten times yet nothing great coming forth, see the genuineness of your spouse and trustfully support again. Help again until he or she stands. When he or she stands it will be for your family’s benefit.
You are afraid that if he makes it he may divorce you? Leave that to God to vindicate you. Today that you have the capacity invest in your spouse.
Why do I have to share this?
I don’t want you to be too selfish and non- sacrificial towards the future.
The future is pregnant. Let not the stronger think that’s how things will continue to be. Whatever you do for your spouse has a way of blessing you, vindicating you or haunting you. Let your wealth and abundance be a blessing to that home.
- Finally, don’t look at the lazy spouse and act based on that.
Tell God, grant me grace to handle the home.
That lazy spouse may be a giant who just need to wake up from his or her slumber.
