The first thing I want us to get into our hearts is the purpose of marriage. Like the saying: when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable. What I want to discuss with you is going to create a shift from what you’ve always known. So you must offload the old stuff. This is very important because if you don’t the odd is against you getting a happy married life. Do you know that the reason many marriages are crashing is because of the wrong notion of marriage. Many marriages are hurting because of the wrong concept of what marriage is all about.
THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS GOD
This answer is pregnant and deep. So I’ll start analyzing it today. In the book of Genesis we found God creating man. His creation wasn’t Adam’s thought. God has a purpose predating man’s existence. So man cannot create his own purpose which includes his marriage.
Also God decided to make him man and woman. So God making man a pair with opposite and complimentary features was his purpose not man’s. If you look through, it wasn’t Adam that told God he needed a wife. Thus, God’s design makes man and a woman have need of one another.
Now to our days, the body attractions, the hormones, the ecstasy of the opposite sex to each other – they aren’t man’s design but God. We cannot enjoy ourselves without understanding the Maker’s blueprint. So, the purpose of marriage is to fulfill God’s mandate. This purpose we must be committed to keep discovering as a lifetime responsibility.
Looking through chapter 2 God said I’ll make Adam a help meet – suitable in fulfilling the PURPOSE of God in Adam.
Genesis 2:18 KJV
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. So Eve wasn’t given to Adam to help Adam fulfill Adam’s craving nor to help to merely satisfy her libido.
The END intention of God is fundamental to enjoying relationship with God and doing his responsibilities and mandate for each soul.
Why many marriages crash they dwell on the surface:
Sex
Attraction
Help mate
Child bearing
This is why they cannot find true satisfaction in marriage.
Let me explain:
You marry a man who’s wealthy. After enjoying wealth without God a void or emptiness sets in… Then it becomes home of commotion.
God’s intention is to give us help meet not help mate. Help mate and help meet are two different things. Most marriages are based on help mate – personal gains and satisfaction. This is what we call relationship of wants. So the marriage is build on sands and it crash. It doesn’t worth it to enjoy all the paparazzi of wedding and honeymoon and end up with divorce in spite of the guys wealth, six pack attraction, connection and what have you.
A blissful marriage cannot be quantified with beauty, sex, money or whatever. This is why you don’t run head over heel in love. Don’t marry for wants else you will be needy throughout the relationship. Marry for purpose.
God’s intention for emphasis is that you marry your help meet; your suitable partner for your life journey premised on love and divine purpose. Therefore, marry for purpose and not on wants. Purpose helps you to keep unraveling and discovering. This is where the excitement is.
My advice: don’t fall into a blind love relationship. Be sure you can see God inside it. Within it and directing the course and the cause.
You want to marry?
Stop! Hesitate for a while
Find God truly and you will find marriage. Do you know that good incidences of relationship in the Bible was initiated by God not man?
Two instances as witness
1. Adam walk with God and God choose for him while on errand for God.
2. Isaac while meditating in the field got his marriage settled.
My brother and sister, you cannot use your number six to pick a spouse. You’ll miss it a hundred times. Be busy for God and he will set machinery in place to pick for you the suitable man or woman for you.
Matthew 6:33 KJV
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Keep following God, he knows what’s best for you. For emphasis sake: Your small or big brain cannot pick right among the sons of men.
The Bible says: The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can find it? It doesn’t separate the red-hot tongue lashing brother or eloquent sister? Do you know whether his or her spiritual acrobatic is all about you and not about God?
Can you discern whether his or her intention is merely to sleep with you and dump you while Mr or Mrs Right has lingered and gone already.
May you not fall into the hands of a destiny waster.
IF ONLY GOD MATTERS, GOD WILL STEP IN FOR YOU
Let me tell you:
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL… INCLUDING MARRIAGE…
ONLY IN GOD ARE WE SAFE
I must be sincere with you out there, men and women are unpredictable. We can see what I’m saying in marriages out there.
I’m not saying serve God because you want him to give you a spouse, NO. God is not a casino or betting center.
What I’m saying:
Live for him
Make him ALL
And he will make sure children of Belial don’t molest his dear son and daughter… So simple. Getting this phase right is the most crucial path of certainty of a glorious marriage.
Any other teaching is embellishment of this FOUNDATION OF GOD. If the foundation is strong, the structure is sure to rest firmly. But if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
For now forget about beauty, wealth, connection, outward spiritual fervency. Be sold out to God. Be on fire. On fire, fly of demons and its offspring will not be able to perch on you. May God give you understanding
I’ll be stopping here to allow you think on these. Maybe other times, we may add other issues which are likewise crucial for great homes and relationship
Thanks.
Can we take 3 questions or thereabout?
Question 1: Sir how can we know a man’s intentions? Secondly sir, so many Christian sisters are out there in the church in there late 30s and still not yet married finding it difficult to find a man even though they are devoted to God, why is it like that sir?
ANSWER FROM WALE ADEWUMI: This alone will take full 1 hour to answer but I’ll summarize it this way:
It’s not easy to know man’s intention ordinarily except you’re truly of Christ who also bear fruits of the Spirit. What you don’t have you cannot recognize.
Simply Jesus said: By their fruits you shall know them. But women folks especially don’t listen, observe and notice the fruits a man bears when they are around. And vice versa.
A man who wants your body is external. A man who want you as an asset because of your education or career has turned you into a tangible material to be disposed of when not in need later. A man who’s about sex isn’t bearing good fruit. A mam who cares for you but care less about other people around him bears bad fruit.
By their fruit you will know them is the sure way to know who to marry. Forget talks and emotions.
Watch carefully you will see clue.
ANSWER 2 FROM WALE ADEWUMI: Why sisters don’t easily find a man.
1. Playing double game with God… Lukewarmness
2. Easily open up for sex. That’s foul game
3. Not easily found
4. Pride and being too selective, unrealistic standards
5. Spiritual challenges, manipulation, curse, etc.
If women can manage the issue of sex very well marriage will not be too elusive. Men rarely give up on women they have not slept with. If a man have not slept with you, you can 90% of time remote him to the altar. Except there’s lack of character or something remote somewhere interferes. Take note of this issue of close lap. Don’t break this hedge when the next guy comes around.
Further reasons for delay in marriage
Some lady plays hard to get
Some dress poorly
Some aren’t attractive
Some make men to jitter in coming to them.
QUESTION: When we talk about guys asking for sex.
When you finally meet someone who respects you and your decisions and maybe one day because the two parties were in an enclosed room and out of konji asked for it. what do you have to say about such situation or person.
ANSWER BY WALE ADEWUMI: People can ask you for anything. But if you know your honour and that your destiny lies on that decision you’ll stand your ground… Unfortunately people are often carried away. Sex determines a lot about your physical and spiritual virtue especially when you’re unmarried.
Thank you
