CARELESS LOVER part 6
MENTAL RESET
After the service, Mary greeted friends around her. Looking behind her she saw Brother Semile the most consistent suitor in the whole wide world. She had told him time without number to look elsewhere but Semile will not just give up. He just believed this female banker is for him.
Mary from day one just felt he is not in the category of her kind of man. She wants a real man, a man who can handle her well.
Men give direction and carry a kind of awe that naturally draw out respect and love from women. Semile to Mary has no such carriage. In church she eavesdrop some people calling him Mary’s tail. Do you know Semile many times will come to Mary for money for all kinds of flimsy needs. This isn’t good enough for a suitor still woing his lady. To Mary, this potent a bad omen of a bleak future.
Mary didn’t want a man who will subordinate his headship because of love. In addition, during conversation Semile seem to be those kind of guys that have no overarching goal or purpose. Such guys trust in the power of fate with little plodding to make things happen; if only their wives can take the lead. They believe in poaching on career ladies; to them such ladies are tagged assets not a companion. They marry a lady because of what she’s going to add to the home not necessarily because of who she’s.
This is why people like Semile can condescend so low and do just anything to have a wife as asset. Mary was quick to think, what if the job is gone and there’s no longer asset to bank upon, the man will be gone just like a partridge stoned.
Mary smiled back to Semile, he too smiled back. She had her thought while Semile thought differently.
She thought: I hope this guy will let me have some rest.
Semile thought: She seem to be opening up her mind.
Confidently, Semile drew near to her end: “I have missed your lovely smile this past one week. I just have to be content gazing on your enlarged picture in my house.”
She exclaimed: “Semile, where did you get my enlarged picture? I can’t remember giving you my picture Bros.”
Like a child who has done an amazing thing, Semile proudly responded: “One of your pictures on social media. This is to tell you how much I love you.”
“No, this is not love Semile,” Mary answered gently as she placed one of her hands on his shoulder soothingly, “you are my brother in Christ. I wouldn’t want you hurt, but you will not listen.”
“What? Why?” He was confused.
“You failed to read the handwriting on the wall because you’ve made an idol of me in your heart. You know why you want me and for what purpose and you are not ready to surrender that reason. It’s not a love that had me in the center, it’s a love exclusively for your own interest.
“Our relationship if there’s anything is like having a door closed. Instead of moving on you then decided to sit there. Unknown to you, probably many doors are already flung opened unknown to you.
“Semile, you have Ladi, Temmy and some other unknown female admirers. I am not one of them. They love who you are. You too need to love people for who they are and not what they are.”
“I love you for who you are Mary,” Semile retorted.
“I don’t think so, you want me for an asset not as a companion.
“I don’t want you to waste any moment anymore. Enough, go find love. I’m not your lover, I am a friend.”
“Mary, I can wait. Go and pray on the matter.”
Mary was slightly angered: “All the men in this church have turned me into a Praying Mantis – I know what you guys call me.
” Semile, do you want to hear the blunt truth? I’m not gonna pray on yours. You’re my friend, not my lover.” As she turned her face to look the other way her eyes met with Felix who was sitting some twenty meter away.
“Not again,” she talked under her breath.
“Who again?” Semile who overheard her asked and he looked in that direction to catch a glimpse of Felix.
“Semile, who’s talking to you? I know you guys will not turn my brain upside down. I need some rest Semile, please pardon me.” She placed her head on the arm of the empty chair in church. Before Semile knew what was happening Mary had slept off.
Then she heard: She’s waiting for you. She jumped up and ran towards the office of the pastor’s wife.
“Good afternoon mommy” she said with a smiling face as she bent her knee a little. Mrs Toun looked pleasantly at her daughter-in-the-Lord. She is indeed a mother to the youths in church. Many believed she’s instrumental to the growth of the church from a small church ten years ago to become the city church. Victory Chapel could be called oasis of love.
“Mary,” Pastor Toun called. Mary heard it just as Christ called Mary Magdalene when he came out of the tomb and Mary Magdalene said Rabboni.
“Ma,” Mary answered.
Sit down. Mary sat down to the right side facing Pastor Toun. “You’re so special to me. Of the younger ladies in church you stand out as a beacon, a model of excellence. I want the best for you.
“But Mary, you have a strong warfare within you that’s stopping you from moving ahead maritally. This is where I sit on and brothers come to tell me their interest and love for you. Until now, none of them came back with testimonies.” She laughed as she stretched her right hand across the table to touch her cheek the way she do to her last baby.
“Mary, tell me, what’s the issue?
“Mommy, I don’t love any of them.”
“Yet, you told many of them that you’re praying on the matter.”
“Yes mommy, I was praying and hoping God will speak to me about one of them. That was why I never gave up on any of them.”
“Did God speak?”
“I don’t really think so,” Mary answered.
“I was wondering why you haven’t had a man of all these lines of suitors,” the pastor’s wife laughed. “Aside this, there’s another issue that could be posing challenges to breakthrough in marriage, this is what I refer to as inner dialogue.”
“Inner dialogue?” Mary queried.
“Yes, this dialogue is a kind of conversation that takes place within you.
“Such inner dialogues are responsible why some beautiful men and women failed to get married in life.
“To some the dialogue is about imaginary fear of the future. Some are naturally chauvinists, they disdain close relationship with the opposite sex.
“I have some who believe based on past experience that all women are useless and undependable while some women who were once raped take most men as beasts.
“I had a lady who believed her husband will someday come from abroad, she is already old still waiting. The dialogue within her kept from marrying a man within her local end of the hemisphere. I had men who waiting to buy a car or own a property before marriage had become old bachelor. Such sorry states.” She shook her head.
“Change the perspective, you end up changing the thinking. Mary I want to know all that’s keeping or capable of holding you back. I had a strong impression that your set time for marriage has come; this was why I called you here for today’s meeting.
“The time is fast spent. We will continue here next time. I want to dedicate some session aside for you these period. See me next Saturday in church by 10:30am.”
“Okay mommy.”
“While coming I’ll give you an assignment to bring along. Write all the possible internal dialogue that’s putting you off from men. Then why do you think many old people aren’t married?”
“Okay ma,” Mary answered. After this Pastor Toun bid her goodbye.
Author: WALE ADEWUMI
