I NEED A SPOUSE
The Lord by his word will bring fruitfulness and he will settle many of you by his words.
The Lord himself knows you need a spouse that’s why he stirred this program by himself.
God cares and he knows your needs including a decent and godly spouse.
There are many things God has prepared for us. He knows our needs.
The main obstacle is our ignorance of how to get it.
The main message
It may not be for everybody but it’s certainly for somebody.
*God is saying to you: go all out, be bold and confident. In other word, don’t be timid and shy about the need for a spouse.
This area is more pertinent to sisters.
You crave so much and cry for a husband but outside you make it light as if you don’t need a spouse. You need audacity and resilience.
When Ruth got to Israel from Moab, her mentor told her to be audacious and creep in the night to lie beneath the feet of Boaz…
The rest is story… They got married.
Show that you’re available for a serious relationship.
- Don’t look too serious, even God smiles in the Bible.
- Looking relaxed attracts.
- Don’t look burdened, no one wants a liability; never be as if you carry the load of the whole world.
- Don’t pretend as if you don’t need a spouse. By so doing you may not find a serious suitor.
- Also, don’t look down on people coming your way. No one wants to get married to someone who looks down on them.
- Nobody wants to marry somebody who treat them as if they are not important
- Everybody wants to be celebrated… Everybody wants to feel important.
There’s this erroneous thinking of certain ladies, they thrashed most men that come their way. This may be why you’re not yet married or get into a relationship.
A point to note
Nobody is so special that he cannot get a good spouse within reach.
When everybody within your reach aren’t okay, you have a big problem. You may be suffering from megalomania. Pride brings down.
In Yoruba adage, it says: when you stay long with excrement all sorts of flies will perch on you. When you stay too long sorting out your Mr Right or Mrs Right, you set an internal pressure within you… And you fall for somebody who may be far beneath your initial suitors.
After prayer, don’t hesitate to get settled in marriage. Often God isn’t the one holding us away from marrying but our false standard
Let’s journey to Genesis 24
There was an old bachelor who was far above 40. He got old probably because he wasn’t thinking of a relationship. There comes a time the father, Abraham saw the need.
When you don’t see the pressing need for a serious relationship, you may keep the life of being single for long.
Going along with the story. When the need was discovered, a search party was raised as Eliezar was commissioned to lead some servants in this adventure.
Things to note in Gen 24.
Abraham and Eliezar know the kind of wife suited to Isaac. You must know the kind of partner suited to you. Note that Abraham didn’t use a worldly standard.
They didn’t hesitate to go for a search and scouting. You too position yourself and be reachable. You see, you have to diligently seek for your own bone or flesh.
Remember people were getting married in Canaan. Yet there’s a special wife prepared for Isaac
Though people are getting married around you, God has a special person for you
The story shows us a worthy template:
1. Abraham prayed
2. Then he told him what kind of wife to bring.
3. Eliezar asked for signs
4. Rebekah fulfilled it
5. Eliezar also didn’t hesitate to take her home
I want us to notice this word:
*Hesitate
This is where many people miss it. After God gave them all indicators they hesitate. By hesitation they lose the blessings. Eliezar could think of many worst scenario of the future.
Marriage is faith walk. After marriage there will be some hitches, this doesn’t mean he or she’s not your spouse. Rebekah and Isaac had there differences and likes about their children, yet they fulfilled purpose. Too much analysis paralyse. Stop hesitating in choice.
Lastly, market yourself.
Eliezar was representing Isaac in the transaction. He told Rebekah and her family wonderful things about her husband to be
Genesis 24:34-38 KJV
And he said, I am Abraham’s servant. [35] And the Lord hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses. [36] And Sarah my master’s wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath. [37] And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell: [38] But thou shalt go unto my father’s house, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son.
Eliezar marketed Isaac well that Rebekah though haven’t seen him didn’t hesitate to go marry Isaac
Genesis 24:57-58 KJV
And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth. [58] And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.
Take home point
1. Pray ahead
2. Scout
3. Know what you want
4. Market
5. Do not hesitate
In marketing yourself you must know what you’re bringing to the table.
In clear term you must be able to convincingly share your vision, values and how you will impact your spouse positively
When someone knows there’s so much to gain having you, he or she will go all the way to make you the spouse.
Show that you’re ready to be a very valuable player in your marriage
Marriage is not just about taking but giving.
*Response to question:
Communication is beyond words. You can show that you are in love in many ways without selling yourself cheaply.
Good dress
Affectionate smile
Good eye contacts
Engaging discussion
Availability
Etc could be some ways to do this communication. Find ways to express it.
Often women do their own talking using other means without having to say it in words. Only ensure it’s not a brazen method.
I have met many ladies who liked me while growing up yet without the use of words. What stopped me then was: they were not my wife.
Ruth didn’t use words yet she communicated the affairs to the understanding of Boaz.
She scored a good goal there yet without words.
